| My pens are one of the most crucial implements | | | | pen. However, the big tippers are more likely to |
| in my arsenal of necessary tools for my job as a | | | | pull out their own expensive pen to sign with and |
| restaurant server. Translation: I need my pens! | | | | accidentally leave it along with my pen- and a |
| At work, I write. All day long. As a result I | | | | 25% gratuity. Nice. |
| get nice pens, so as to facilitate a more | | | | I had this extremely difficult, nit-picky table of |
| comfortable experience for myself. I do spend a | | | | three whiny men recently. Men whining is the |
| little money on them, because the cheap kind run | | | | absolute worst, because a man, by definition, is |
| out of ink after 20 words or so. | | | | not supposed to whine. Ever. So these men |
| Writing down your order so I do not forget to | | | | ran me ragged for an hour. They needed more |
| inform the cooks that you will faint at the sight of | | | | ranch, another side of mayo, "light ice, take this |
| a pickle is not the only important function my | | | | back, I asked for light ice!" Whining the entire time. |
| pens serve. I am also required to include a pen | | | | At the end of the meal I brought the check, |
| in the check presenter whenever the RC pays | | | | which came to about $60. One of the men paid |
| by credit card, so that s/he can sign the receipt. | | | | with a credit card. I gave him the check |
| However, I am loaning my pen for the length of | | | | presenter with his receipt and one of my pens. I |
| time it takes for you to give us your John | | | | thanked them for their patronage, bid them a |
| Hancock, and that's it! Frequently the RC keeps | | | | very good day, smiled warmly and turned to go. |
| the pen, apparently under the false impression | | | | As I started to walk away the guy who paid calls |
| that it is a gift. | | | | out to me "Oh, this is a real nice pen, I'm gonna |
| I wouldn't mind so much if it were the big | | | | have to keep this, hope you don't mind!" He |
| spenders helping themselves to a complementary | | | | laughed and I laughed, assuming he was joking. |